We will never be the same
by GrandmaBeth
Summary: Grief changes a person and a family. A look at how Harry, Hermione, the Weasleys and their friends deal with grief. we will never be the same and that's OK.
1. George

George

The grief was like being weighed down by layers of feather comforters.

After it was over he sat for hours, or was it days, beside Fred's lifeless body. He was dimly aware of others being there too. Ginny's small hand, slipping into his. She would lean against his side when his arm automatically curved around her shoulder. Pulling her close. His mind desperately sought something, anything to think about. A way not to think about the loneliness that stretched before him.

Ginny came home at Easter changed. There was a strength and yet a sense of brokenness. Fred had been the one to get her to finally tell them the truth about where the scars and nightmares had come from.

She had ended up in George's lap, soaking the front of his shirt with her tears.

Their relationship with their baby sister had changed after that. They had always been protective of her, as much as she would allow. Now though, her strength and maturity, forged from being on the front lines, sat them on equal footing. She was no longer a child to be kept in the dark. She was an adult who could protect as well as be protected.

Percy, the returned prodigal brother, sat gently stroking Fred's hair as if that action, learned from watching their mum, could make his little brother whole again.

Bill sat and held George, just as George had held Ginny. Ever the big brother.

Charlie never sat for long. Dimly George was aware that there had been deatheaters who had escaped during the battle. Charlie, who had given up so much to stay in Romania, smuggling muggle borns to safety. Now he and a well organized group of D.A. members patrolled the castle and grounds. Keeping all within safe.

As the sun began to set a sleep tousled Hermione appeared with Ron. She had soup and a sandwich. George was going to refuse, he was numb and food did not interest him. But patiently she got him to eat it all. After, she sat, between Tonks and Fred, talking quietly to Mrs. Tonks. At some point she reached over and grasped his hand. That simple contact was his lifeline a crack opening the curtains of grief, encouraging him to look around and struggle toward the surface.

It was deeply dark when beautiful, caring Fleur wrapped him in a hug, then took Hermione's place.

His dad appeared some time after that. He was vaguely aware that Percy and his dad had gone to the ministry earlier.

Arthur stood, tears slipping down his face, as he looked at his sons. George gradually became aware of his baby brother standing beside their dad. "Mum and Andromeda are asleep in the tower. Madame Pomphrey gave them both a potion. You look done in dad. Go on up. Neville and Charlie have first watch. You just sleep."

George's eyes followed as Ron's head turned toward the space between Lupin and Tonks. "Fleur, Mrs Longbottom has been released from the infirmary. Neville asked if you would please meet Luna there and help her back to the tower?"

Gently kissing, first Fred, then George on the cheek, Arthur walked away as Lee, Alicia and Dennis Creavy walked in.

Ron nodded to them. "Did Hannah turn the protection spell over to you?"

All three nodded.

"You know the signal. Dad and Bill took care of Voldemort's body. The deatheaters' bodies are being transferred to ministry sometime tonight. Do you know the password?" Another set of nods.

"Nobody but family gets in here! Dennis, Mcgonagle says she will have everything in place for you to get your folks tomorrow. Professor Slughorn is going with you."

Tall lanky Ron wrapped tiny Dennis in his arms. "Anything and I mean anything you or they need, ask. Hermione is going to stay with you to help explain things."

Ron suddenly cocked his head to one side. "Teddy's awake. Ah Harry or Glinny must still be awake. He's stopped crying. Handy spell that!"

George was staring at his baby brother opened mouthed. Where was the insecure teenager who was a follower, not the confidant leader standing here?

Ron squatted in front of his older brother. "George, I'm knackered. I need to sleep, so do you. I also need you close. Please come with me to the tower. There is a bed ready for you.

F-Fred will be safe. Lee will see to it."

Ron bent over and kissed Fred's forehead, then, standing, extended his hand.

George numbly followed Ron to Gryffindor tower. He noticed Neville and Charlie were just inside the portrait hole.

Sitting, half asleep, on one of the sofas was Harry, a bundle of blankets cradled in one arm.

Ginny was sound asleep beside the sofa, snuggled on top of cushions from the chairs.

George vaguely remembered Ron leading him up the stairs to a room where Percy was already sleeping.

Bill sat on the edge of a bed. " Everyone accounted for Ron?" He asked in an exhausted voice.

Ron nodded. "As soon as Luna and Fleur get back with Mrs. Longbottom and I call Kreature."

"I am here buzzer in law. I have potions from Poppy. I am afraid I cannot get 'arry to take his. He is afraid he won't hear ze bebe."

Ron let out a long sigh."Nobel git! Hermione and I have already told him and Ginny we have the night shift. I'll get it down them if I have to stun them both and pour it down their throats!"

There was still a slight frown on his face as he turned toward George, who put his hands up in surrender.

" Fleur I'll take whatever you tell me to. I really don't want to be stunned!"

He tossed back the potion, as he began to fall asleep he heard Ron call out "Kreature." The last thing George remembered was his brother saying "I need your help with Harry please."


	2. Ron

Ron sat quietly, a row over from where George and his mum sat beside Fred's body.

Tears were coursing down his cheeks, unchecked and unheeded.

Hermione sat beside him, holding his right arm, pressed against his side, head resting on his shoulder.

Before them lay the body of Lavender Brown. Someone had pulled a sheet up under her chin. An attempt to mask the total devastation Fenrir Greyback had unleashed upon the once beautiful teen.

Both Ron and Hermione looked up as Luna approached.

Tears sparkled in her eyes as she looked at the bloody sheet.

"Oh my. Poor Lavender."

Resting her hand lightly on Ron's free shoulder she squeezed it gently.

With that she sat next to Hermione. Tears trickling silently down her cheeks, as she looked at the body of tiny Colin Creavy.

Ron lost track of time, lost in grief and guilt.

He had treated Lavender abominably. Yet she had never once chastised him.

About the only part of her body not touched by the monster was her face. In death she looked serene, still. Nothing like the bubbly active girl Ron had known.

The three friends sat vigil, waiting for someone who loved Lavender and Colin to arrive. It just didn't seem right to leave them alone.

Ron glanced up at where the doors to the great hall had been blown off, there stood tiny professor Flitwick and Charlie.

The professor had a list and was checking off names as grieving family were admitted to the hall.

An impossibly small blur ran toward where they sat.

Dennis Creavy threw himself upon the body of his brother. A keening wail, disproportionate to the size of the small boy could be heard.

Instantly Ron was kneeling at his side, all his attention was focused on the grieving child.

His large hand was rubbing circles on Dennis' back.

If you asked him later, he couldn't tell you what he said or did. All he could say was here was someone else who had lost a brother and he had to help.

Not long after, Harry stumbled through the door.

Ron almost pulled his wand when he saw who he was with. The formidable witch was the carbon copy of Bellatrix Lestrange. Except Bellatrix would never have been seen in the slightly worn, comfortable outfit this witch wore. Nor could he imagine Bellatrix crying in public.

Harry was carrying a small bundle of blankets, clutched tightly to his chest.

Hermione was first to reach where Lupin and Tonks lay. She had an arm wrapped around Harry as they watched Molly stir from the almost catatonic state she had been in, she leapt up to wrap the other witch in her arms.

Ah, so this was Andromeda Tonks, disowned Black sister, mother if Nymphadora Lupin.

Ron could not help it. Fresh tears fell as he contemplated what all this woman had lost to this war. Her husband killed by snatchers. Now her only child and son in law lay dead.

A small pitiful cry could be heard from the blankets. Harry was trying his best to comfort and quiet the baby. Little Teddy Lupin, perhaps sensing the grief around him or, more likely missing his mum, would not be soothed.

Ron may have only been one year older than Ginny but he had picked up some child care knowledge.

He guided Harry and Hermione toward the riser where the head table once stood.

Gently he took the baby and laid him down on the platform. A sniff, then a quick search of the diaper bag and he had what he needed.

The baby was now in a clean dry diaper. "Hermione do you see a bottle in there?"

Her search came to naught.

By this time Ginny had joined their group.

He listened as his sister called out "Winky?"

With a pop the former house elf of the Crouches appeared.

"Winky, if we get Mrs. Tonks permission, would you please go to her house and gather up bottles, diapers and clothes for her grandson?"

"Winky would be glad to do this Miss Ginny."

Ron gently bounced the baby on his shoulder and watched as his sister approached the grieving woman.

In next to no time the elf was back. Ron showed Harry how to hold the baby and the bottle.

Teddy drained the bottle. Harry was having a hard time getting a burp out of his godson. Ron took the infant and did what he had seen his mum do with baby Ginny. He laid him across his lap, stomach down, and gently patted his back until a very loud burp was heard. Picking up the baby for a cuddle Ron smiled for the first time that day. "Now there, you should be feeling much better."

With his free hand he rubbed his face. He was completely exhausted. Hermione was wilting in on herself and Harry looked horrible.

Ginny took one look at the three of them and hearded them out of the great hall and to the Gryffindor tower.

Ron wasn't sure how, but soon he found himself curled around Hermione in his old bed.

Harry had refused to join them, instead he and Ginny were in the great room with the baby.

As he held the love of his life he began to cry. They clung to each other, their tears mingling until they finally fell into a deep sleep.


	3. Charlie

Merlin it had been a long and exhausting day. He had made it to Hogsmede well into the battle, joining the townspeople and other reinforcements as they rushed toward the castle.

The dead and injured littered the grounds. As he fought he would pass a body, praying not to see red hair.

He had reached the great hall just as Bellatrix had taunted his mother. He felt as if ice water had replaced the blood in his body as the reality of her words set in. Fred, his baby brother, was dead.

He hadn't had time to think since it had all ended. His dad and Bill had pulled him into a meeting with Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minerva Mcgonagall, Luna Lovegood and a tall young man they called Neville almost immediately.

He spent the next few hours with various students and adults who had fought, securing the castle and grounds.

He managed to get his mum to eat a bit and sat vigil with her and George for a brief time. Then he was back at work.

It was barely controlled chaos. Volunteers were notifying family members of the dead and injured. So distraught people were showing up.

Sometime in the afternoon, a handful of, what appeared to be students, suddenly jumped to their feet. The Lovegood girl led the way as all but a few ran out of the front doors.

His sister, took charge of an additional handful in the hall..Charlie stood open mouthed as she gave short precise orders and suddenly every entrance to the great hall, original or accidental was manned.

He never even hesitated when she turned to him. "Charlie, a death eater has been found. Harry, Ron and Hermione are asleep in the tower. I need you to back up Seamus who is guarding them." She then leaned forward and whispered "Portrait password lemon drop. Identification "Hope".

He later found out that it had been Fenrir Greyback who had been found by Hagrid and Neville. The beast was hiding, wounded, in the forest. He attempted to attack the pair as they returned from checking on the herd of centaurs.

Hagrid killed the bastard with a well placed crossbow bolt.

Charlie stayed talking with Seamus a while, even after the all clear had been issued. That was when he had learned of the coins the group known as the D.A. used to communicate with, and began to understand exactly that a handful of students, trained by Harry, had become an efficient and impossibly brave fighting unit under the leadership of Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood and his baby sister.

He knew he had ceased thinking of Ginny as a child when she and Fleur entered the common room, not long after the capture. Seamus sat a bit straighter in his chair, the look on his face that of a willing subordinate.

Quickly he and Ginny exchanged information. That taken care of she turned toward her older brother.

"I need to get my head down for a bit. We are spread a bit thin. There is a sweep of the forest about to happen and Hagrid asked for you to join them please."

"Seamus, as soon as Luna sends you relief she suggests you get a kip. I think you are on late night patrol. "

"Fleur if you need anything for Teddy it should be in the bag." She gently handed over the bundle of blankets and sleeping baby to their sister in law. "If it isn't on there call out for Winky."

Suddenly a diminutive house elf popped into site.

"Miss Ginny needs Winky?" Charlie watched as his sister knelt to look the elf in the eyes. "First have all the injured elves been seen to?"

The small elf's ears began to quiver. "All but Kreature miss. He is being stubborn he is!"

Ginny patted her arm. "I'll take care of him before I sleep. Winky this is Mrs. Fleur Weasly, she is going to be looking after Professor Lupin's son while Harry and I sleep. Would you help her if she needs it, please?"

A beaming smile split the elf's face. "Of course Miss Ginny. Mrs. Fleur, I knows of a cradle. Winky could put it by the sofa Mr. Harry Potter is sleeping on."

The beautiful blonde looked around the common room. "I sink, this will do nicely for today. Tonight we need to find a room for the bebe."

With a snap of Winky's fingers a low wooden cradle appeared. A wave of her hand and it was pristinely clean.

Fleur looked thoughtful, "Ginny wouldn't Harry sleep better if we put him in a room?"

Ginny nodded, "I tried to get him up to his old room but he insisted he had to stay awake and take care of Teddy. Fifteen minutes later he was fast asleep. Charlie, do you think you could carry him upstairs without waking him? We could put him in with Ron and Hermione."

Winky tugged at Ginny's Jean's. "Miss Ginny, Winky could get Harry Potter into bed without waking him.".Ginny nodded her agreement.

Winky walked over to the sleeping figure. Quietly she said, "Winky will be right back." Within a blink she and Harry were gone.

Just as quickly she reappeared.

Ginny linked her arm through Charlie's. She turned toward Winky, "Thank you Winky. I am heading down to the kitchens now to see about Kreature. I meant what I said to you all. We would not have survived this year without the house elves' help. Anything you need just come to me or Luna."

With that the siblings exited through the portrait, Charlie to lend professor Hagrid a hand and Ginny to convince a reluctant elf to be treated.

Charlie had no doubt she would be successful.

Thus was the pace of his days just after the battle.

A mass funeral service was held. The new cemetery had taken work to prepare, with the additional need for that portion of the school grounds to be separated from the rest so there was access without compromising the castle's security.

Until he left for the reservation, a week after the battle, Charlie was busy from the moment he woke up until his head hit the pillow at night.

His grief was like a shadow, lurking at the edge of his awareness during his time in Scotland and England.

The second night he was back in his cabin it hit him. It was the first time he had not worked himself into numbness.

He cried that night. Yelling out in anger and grief over Fred and Nymphadora. Sobbing with guilt because he hadn't been there early enough.

For a while it seemed he cried every night. Then, slowly, he cried less often.

He took more opportunities to return to England. On the battle's first year anniversary, his goddaughter was born. After that he was home every couple of months or so.

Eventually the pull was too great. He took over for Hagrid as magical creatures Professor.

He had learned that the loss never truly went away but his nieces and nephews and students shed light upon the darkness.

Many years later he was sitting under a tree at Ted and Vic Lupin's farm. It was a gathering to celebrate their twins successfully completing their first year at Hogwarts. Ted, his nephew first by choice, then by marriage, sat down onto a chair next to him and handed over a cold butterbeer. "Uncle Charlie, you looked like you needed another."

Ted grinned. So Uncle Neville and Aunt Ginny won't tell me how many times you all saved the boys from one of Vic's howlers. Are you willing to spill the beans?"

Charlie set his face into the most innocent expression he could. "Why Ted they were angels after the pudding incident. Never stepped even a toe out of line after that"

Ted Lupin, auror, raised one eyebrow. "Sorry Uncle Charlie I am not buying what you are selling. I know my sons. Their last name may be Lupin but they have very strong Weasley genetics. Spill it!"

Charlie shrugged, "It was worth a try!" Shortly thereafter laughter could be heard from where the two men were sitting.

Later, as he laid his head down, he thought of Fred, Dora and his dad,(who had been gone a dozen years). Until he joined them, Charlie would miss his brother, friend and father. But his joy of life honored their memories.


	4. Ginny

Ginny crawled into the bed next to Harry, careful not to wake him.

He had fallen asleep around noon, while stubbornly trying to stay awake to take care of his godson.

She needed a quick nap. Luna had things well in hand. Neville was finally getting treated, again. The injuries he received during the battle had been reopened when he and Hagrid had encountered Fenrir Greyback in the forest.

Her mind and emotions were in a tumble. Other than a few moments spent trying to comfort her mum and George she hadn't had time to cry.

Dealing with her grief would have to wait.

Neville, despite his wounds and concern for his grandmother, had taken a look at the post battle chaos and gathered Dumbledore's army. Quickly they had coordinated with Professor Mcgonagall and began reinstating the wards with help from Bill.

The live death eaters had been disarmed and confined to the ancient dungeons. DA, alumni and senior students were set to guard them until Kingsley, her dad, Percy and trusted ministry officials could assure transferring them to holding cells at the ministry was prudent.

Luna, brilliant Ravenclaw she was, and professor Flitwick soon had the DA and volunteers organized.

At last she could sleep, for a bit. Her arm protectively crept over Harry's chest. Tears leaked from her eyes as she drifted toward sleep.

Her dreams were troubled. She kept hearing her mother's primal scream when Fred's body had been carried into the great hall. Finding Colin's body, broken just outside the castle. Holding the tiny 5th year as her soul slipped from it's mortal remains. Carrying her body to the great hall. Seeing Remus and Tonk's bodies side by side.

She woke screaming Harry's name as Voldemort's taunting "Harry Potter is dead," echoed from her nightmare.

Even in their exhaustion Harry, Ron and Hermione had been on their feet, wands drawn instantly. Bill and Charlie had dodged curses,running toward the perceived danger, until Ron had become aware enough to call out.

"Harry! Hermione! It's Bill, stand down!"

Ginny was still struggling out of her dreams when Ron scooped her into his protective arms. Rocking her as he had Teddy earlier. "Shh, Ginny it's just a dream. Look, Harry is right here."

Through her tears she could see Hermione and Bill calming Harry.

He had begun trembling violently. Quickly his grime covered shirt was soaked with sweat. Fluer, Teddy wrapped protectively in her arms and her wand drawn, stepped into the room.

"Bill iz everyting all right?"

Ron answered. "Ginny had a nightmare. Everyone is safe. Ginny felt the slight pressure of her sister in law sitting in the bed Ron had retreated to, with Ginny still in his arms.

"Ah mon petite. Ze nightmares, hopefully will go away now zat we are no longer living in a nightmare while we are awake. Charlie would you take Teddy please? I zink a shower would help Ginny sleep better. Now 'ow to get some clothes for her….

Ron, his voice betraying his exhaustion, said: "I think it might help Harry too. Where is your bag Love?"

Hermione nodded toward the bedside table. "Do you have anything that might fit Gin?" Ginny had tried scourgify but admitted to herself that her clothes were rank.

Kissing Ginny on top of the head Ron eased her off his lap. Picking up the small beaded bag, he handed it to Hermione with a lopsided grin. "The last time I rummaged through there I knocked over all the books." If Fluer and her brothers were surprised by that statement, Ginny was not. Hermione had taught her that particular spell. The DA had used it this past school year very effectively.

Soon Ginny was showered and in warm, clean clothes. Harry, still moving as if he was sleepwalking, was being led into the bathroom by Bill. Ginny smiled through tears when, in response to Harry's assertion that he thought he could shower himself, she saw Bill throw a muscular arm around Harry's shoulder. "I have helped everyone of my siblings take a bath at one time or another. It's just taken 17 years for me to do this for my blackhaired brother."

Fluer had reclaimed Teddy. Somehow a rocking chair had been added to the room and she was feeding the wee baby a bottle.

Charlie was trying to convince Ron to take a shower and go back to bed as they used their wands to remake Harry and Ginny's bed.

"I'll go to bed after they are seen to, I promise. Hermione, Love, I want you to get in the shower after Harry is done. Please? Then you need more sleep. You are almost as exhausted as Harry."

Fluer nodded. "Your ordeal at that 'ands of that bitch has taken more out of you that you realize. Zou can not help 'arry if you push yourself too far."

Charlie and Ginny looked startled toward Fluer. "Zat is part of many stories, questions and answers that need to be shared. But not now."

Soon Ginny was curled up next to an already sleeping Harry. Ron was tucking the covers around Hermione and promising he would be right to bed after he showered. A cradle had been added to the room and Teddy was sleeping soundly.

Flure levitated the rocker close to the door, sat herself in it and declared this was where she was staying.

Charlie and Bill were about to leave as Ron entered the room toweling his long hair. Neville Knocked on the doorframe. "Is it OK if I kip here for a bit? I need a short nap, and our friend here needs a good long sleep." He moved into sight. In his arms was Kreature who had returned to Hogwarts and become, along with Dobby, an integral part of the resistance.

Ginny sat up quickly. Before she could voice her concern Ron was scooping the old house elf into his arms as he had done with her earlier. "Kreature! Are you hurt?"

Neville shook his head negatively, "Hannah gave him a wee bit of sleeping potion. He can't hear you. Knocked him right out. What she told me was that he had cuts and bruises but was near hysterical worrying about Harry and you two. She promised him he would wake up with his master. I thought we could conjure a cot for him next to Harry's bed."

In no time Kreature had been seen to, and Ginny was drifting off to sleep again when she heard the sound of someone being wrapped in a brotherly hug. Then Bill said "Ron you need to sleep too. Fluer will make sure they are safe." Charlie's deeper voice chimed in "I'm proud of you Ron. I don't know what you have been through, and I want to, when you four are ready to tell us. I'd like to know what happened to the boy you were."

She heard the creak of Ron and Herminoe's bed as he crawled under the covers, "I left him in the dungeons at Malfoy manor"


	5. Notice

I am sorry this story and all of my fan fiction is on hold. If the muse returns I will return to this story. Currently I am not feeling creative.

I am writing this in 2020, during the pandemic, social unrest and after being disapointed by someone I admired.

Thank you to everyone who had read and commented on my stories. May your life be fantastic.


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